A couple of weeks ago, I was supposed to receive my test score for a board test on that Wednesday morning. I couldn’t sleep since the Sunday before. Every time, I tried to do an activity, my test score was the first thing on my mind. I couldn’t sleep, eat or focus on anything productively.
It was finally Tuesday night before scores came out. I came home from the hospital. I showered, made myself dinner, ate dinner, watched some TV shows, and then I looked at the time; it was 8:12 p.m. I thought in my head, “O.K., only 12 more hours to go.” I read up on my patients for the day. I looked at the time, it was 8:45. Oh my goodness, my heart started pounding. Almost every ten minutes since then, I kept looking at the time because it felt like hours passed by, but only ten min minutes did. I tried to force myself to go to sleep. Turned off the lights, got into bed, and stared into the dark, up at the ceiling, with no blink of an eye. I tossed and turned. I got up to use the rest room. I looked at the clock, it was 9:20 p.m. I finally drifted off to sleep.
I woke up suddenly in panic thinking it was well into the next morning. I looked at the time, it was only 5:53 a.m. I was like, “Oh no, I can’t take this any more.”
I took a shower, made breakfast, watch the morning news, and got dressed for the day. The time was 7:25 a.m. Almost two more hours. I really started having palpitations, and I can feel my chest start pounding, and my head throbbing from all of this anxiousness. Somehow, an hour passed by, and I hear the “New e-mail notification” on my phone and my computer. I checked my inbox, and there it was…there was my score report…