Here I am, writing to you—sharing all the tea on my residency experience. This month I’m on inpatient internal medicine wards at the VA. Let me tell you—there was a period of time where I wondered if Internal Medicine was my passion. I loved the patients and I loved the people. Maybe it’s where I needed to be, especially since I was feeling like my personality didn’t belong in Psychiatry. Well, I will tell you, so far, this month has taught me that I have ZERO REGRETS. I am meant to be a psychiatrist, not an internal medicine physician.
I realized there was so much I did not miss about internal medicine. It can be really stressful and you’re always starting with a blank canvas with a quest to figure out what’s going on with the patient and how to best manage it—but not the subject matter I’m most interested in. I truly love understanding human behavior and working in that field. It was nice to be able to feel that sense of validity in making the right choice—especially for someone as indecisive as I can be with a major life decision.
I will say I do miss getting to spend time with the patients and actually be able to hold their hand through hard times. There are more boundaries in the field of psychiatry, and rightfully so. I do feel like I’m beaming when I can help with patients on the wards who need help with mental health. It’s nice to be right about something before consulting mental health—makes me feel like I’m on the right track.
All in all, I’m enjoying my internal medicine month. Most importantly, I love having that final seal of no regrets in my decision. I love Psychiatry, and I am so proud to have a space in the field. Now I’m excited to learn as much as possible to be the best psychiatrist I can be!
Thoughts from a psychiatry resident physician,
Dr. AKP
