Ahhh. A sigh of relief that I can breathe out after finally completing Step 1, my first round of board exams. I had been anticipating this moment ever since the first year of med school, knowing that the exam is the foundation of our candidacy for residency, supposedly representing our knowledge base and understanding of medicine. I also heard numerous horror stories about the process of exam preparation from older med students; how real the burnout is and how you will have days where you are depressed, in tears, leaving you coming out of the 7-8 week dedicated study period a different person. After undergoing the process, I can definitely attest that it is common to have those nights where morale is down, you don’t feel like you are good enough, you question your ability to get into residency and become a physician. It is particularly frustrating when you are taking practice test after practice test and see little improvement in your scores. It was not until the last week of my 7-week stretch that I began to change my mindset. Truthfully, I am extremely hard on myself and hold myself to a pretty high standard, and even when I am improving, I always seek the next goal without applauding myself for present accomplishments. I came to realize how unhealthy this is, and how it may be negatively affecting my performance. I began to view my progress not by its absolute value, but by the trends. This allowed me to better appreciate the hard work I was putting in, and no doubt my methods so much. While I do believe it is always great to improve and strive for better, studying for Step 1 has taught me that it is equally important to view things relatively and to always acknowledge your achievements. Without this self-appreciation and recognition, the long haul to becoming a doctor is incredibly taxing.
